A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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