We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
