I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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