Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All I want is dick and wine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
