Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
