Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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