You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
