The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
