Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
