Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
