apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
