I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
