the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
