would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize