i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
