Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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