I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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