We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
