last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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