Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
