White coat. Heels.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
