He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
