i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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