I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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