I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize