who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
