it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
