when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize