she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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