i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need to calm my uterus...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
