He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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