I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
