I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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