xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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