so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I want a musical about memes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
