I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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