Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
