absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
