she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
