I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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