A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
