In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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