I'm eating all of the evidence.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
