Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I want a musical about memes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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