i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
