I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
