i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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