finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
