i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
