3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
