I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
