I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have fence marks all over my body
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
