My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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