do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize