I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
