32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Be still, my beating vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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