you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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