Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize