Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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