just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
